


Don't Lose Heart

by books_entertain_the_mind



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Panic Attacks, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Stargazing, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony is a good dad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-24
Updated: 2019-03-24
Packaged: 2019-11-29 04:30:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,328
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18218231
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/books_entertain_the_mind/pseuds/books_entertain_the_mind
Summary: Tony finds Peter on the roof of the compound in the middle of a panic attack one night and when he goes to comfort him, Tony learns some new things about Peter.





	Don't Lose Heart

**Author's Note:**

> Warnings: Descriptions of a panic attack! You have been warned. 
> 
> So I use this song, "Water and Dust" to help me when I'm having panic attacks and the lyrics of the song kept making me want to write some type of story and this is what ended up coming out of that.
> 
> I also really wanted to do a stargazing story, so there's that.

_"Gently Your voice like a calming embrace_  
_Calls me from out of the noise_  
_You whisper to me, "child, forget not your dreams"_  
_As we lie awake in the dark_

 _Just don't lose heart_  
_He's got your hand_  
_Don't lose heart, child_  
_He knows your name_  
_And when everything is falling apart_  
_Don't lose heart"_

\- "Water and Dust" by Cory Asbury

 

* * *

  

Peter stumbled out the door onto the roof of the compound, gasping for breath. He wasn’t paying much attention to anything other than the shock factor of the ice cold air hitting his skin. The old air forced his body to breath, clearing up the fog in his brain just slightly.

He gave in involuntary shiver and wrapped his arms around his waist. The thin pajamas he was wearing weren’t doing much to keep the chill from seeping under his skin and latching onto his bones. Even though it was only late autumn, the winter chill was creeping into the land and wasn’t keeping any of it’s wrath from teenage spider-hero.

Peter squeezed his eyes shut, trying to keep the rouge tears from escaping as he took another struggling gasp of air and stumbled toward the small wall at the edge of the roof. The moon was shining bright and full above him, illuminating his path to the ledge. There wasn’t a cloud in the sky, all the stars shining bright, right along side the full moon.

He tried to focus enough to make his brain recognize there is nothing wrong and he can breathe and there is no danger around. Except the panic has taken complete control of all common sense in his brain and is screaming _Danger!_ and _can’t breath!_ so loud that it’s the only thing he can listen to.

Peter presses a hand against his chest and falls to his knees as soon as he hits the ledge. He leans his head against it and shuts his eyes, trying in vain to breathe. He doesn’t notice or hear the sound of the door behind him opening or the sound of muted footsteps running after him.

He also doesn’t hear his name being called over and over again and only registers the presence of another person when a hand falls on his shoulder. Peter gasps and spins around, trying to locate the danger his brain keeps screaming about.

He saw it was just Tony, watching his with concern written all over his face. The teen sagged into the man’s embrace without any warning, knowing and trusting Tony to catch him.

Tony held onto Peter, pulling him as close to him as he could without having the kid physically sit in his lap, tucking his kid’s face into the crook of his neck and shoulder. He pulled Peter’s hand off his kid’s shirt and replaced it with his own, pressing into his chest and rubbing circle to help circulate the air from his lungs. He rested his head against Peter’s and started whispering to him.

“Pete, kiddo, it’s okay. You just need to breath. Focus on my breaths and follow me. We’re at the compound. It’s the middle of the night, on a school night, I might add. It’s Tuesday, October 28th and it’s three in the morning, kid. Just breathe for me. That’s it kiddo, just breathe.”

The genius billionaire kept repeating that over and over again as he began to rock the two of them back and forth, continuing to rub circles on Peter’s chest. He breathed a sigh of relief when he felt Peter’s breaths begin to even out and slow down to a normal pace.

Tony began to run his fingers through Peter’s curls, knowing the action calms them both down immensely. When he woke up to Friday alerting him that Peter ran onto the roof while in the midst of a panic attack, he can honestly say he freaked out for a moment. Then he immediately began running to the roof, terrified of what might happen before he made it up there.

He felt both relief and his heart break at the sight of Peter kneeling at the edge of the roof, curled in on himself as the boy tried to breathe through the panic. Without thinking of anything but comforting his kid, Tony ran over and tried to help him calm down.

As the duo sat together in the cold, Tony holding Peter close, as they both came down from their relative panics. They sat in silence, the only noise being the light breeze and the occasional animal calling out.

After several minutes, Tony felt Peter’s breathing return to normal and felt all the strength leave the poor kid’s body, slumping even further against Tony’s chest. Tony took it in stride and just rubbed his free hand up and down one of Peter’s arms, whispering reassurances to him.

Finally Tony decided to break the silence that encased them.

“Wanna talk about it, buddy?”

Peter just whimpered and pushed his face further against his mentor’s neck. He mumbled something that neither of them were able to hear or distinguish.

“What was that, kid?”

Peter pulled away slightly from Tony and looked into the older man’s gaze. “It was everything this time,” he whispered, is voice breaking as tears started afresh. “I saw Ben again, th-then May was standing there asking why I let them both die an-and she was saying th-that it was a-all m-my fault. And then T-Toomes was there and all of a sudden I was trapped under that ware house again. An-and I couldn’t breath and I was calling out for he-help but n-no one was coming and I was tr-trapped...”

Tony just sighed and pulled Peter back to him, rubbing his back and running his fingers through the boy’s curly hair again. “It’s alright Pete,” he whispered. “I know it hurts now, but it’ll get better, I promise.”

Peter just shook his head as he started to sob, unable to hold it in anymore as he was encompassed in the feeling of safety that he always felt whenever Tony was around.

Tony continued to silently comfort Peter, not caring that his shirt was steadily becoming more damp from tears and snot as time went on. “It’s okay, Peter,” he whispered again into the teenager’s hair. “I promise it’ll all be alright.”

Peter pulled away from Tony with one last sniff and glared at the older man.

“It’s not going to be alright, Tony!” Peter yelled, his grief moving from tears to anger. “My whole family is gone! And May was right! It is all my fault! I didn’t stop any of it when I had the powers and ability to do so. Now Ben and May are both gone. They’ll never get to grow old together, they won’t get to see me graduate or go to college, or be there if I get married. They don’t get to live! It’s not fair! Why do I get to keep living when they deserve life more than me? Why, Tony?”

His last question came out as a broken whisper, his body starting to give out again, all his energy used up in his single fit of rage. Tony saw this happening a second before Peter’s body gave out and Tony lunged forward, catching his kid, sinking to the ground and pulling him back onto his lab, circling his arms around the younger boy, holding him tight.

“Oh Pete,” he murmured, his heart breaking as Peter gasped for breath between sobs. “I know everything sucks right now, but I promise it’ll get better. You’ll still get through and graduate high school. You’ll get into any college you want and be the top of your class without even trying. And when you’re ready you’ll find the person you’ll fall in love with and get married. Your life will go on. Don’t forget these dreams, kid. May and Ben don’t blame you and want to keep living. Please don’t let go of your dreams.”

Peter just sniffed and shook his head against Tony’s chest. “It just hurts so much, Tony.”

“I know kiddo. It will for a long time, but it’ll get easier to handle over time. Everything seems like it’s falling apart right now, but you can’t give up. Don’t lose heart, Peter. I’m right here to help. I’m right here, I promise.”

Tony felt Peter finally relax again as he gave those hushed promises and reassurances. Tony thought back to when his parents died. He remembered his Aunt Peggy giving him a talk very similar to the one he just promised Peter. It was one of the only things that helped him get through that time in his life, and he’s determined to help Peter through this too.

Tony noticed it had fallen silent everal moments ago, so he looked down to check on Peter and saw the teen just silently looking up at the stars in the clear night sky. Being at the compound means they’re farther from the city so there’s less light pollution, meaning the stars and the Milky Way are easier to see at night.

“Whatcha looking at, kid?”

Peter slowly blinked and looked back at Tony. He pointed up at a cluster of stars. “I noticed Orion. Uncle Ben used to teach me different constellations every time we’d go camping in the summer.”

Tony smiled and followed where Peter was pointing. He knew and could recognize some of the more well-known constellations like Orion and the Big Dipper, but didn’t know much past that.

“What are some other ones that you can find?” He asked, hoping it would help take Peter’s mind off his panic and grief.

He pointed to another cluster of stars the looked like a rectangle with a handful of surrounding stars. “That one is Pegasus. It’s one of the largest constellations there is. And see the one connected to it?”

Tony didn’t but he nodded along as if he did.

“That’s Andromeda. I don’t know why they’re connected, but her story is that her father was in trouble for boasting about her beauty so she was chained to a rock to be attacked by monsters unless this dude, Perseus saved her. He did, so her constellation is next to his and her mothers, the queen.”

While Peter told his story, he kept pointing to different stars and constellations. Tony kept nodding and followed along, wondering how it took this long for him to learn about this certain interest of Peter’s.

“Do you know any others?”

Peter nodded, not taking his eyes away from the intricate patterns in the sky. He was quiet for a moment, eyes moving back forth as he seemed to be searching for a specific constellation. He grinned a little pointed to a tiny cluster of about 5 stars on the opposite side of Pegasus.

“There! This one is my favorite. It’s name is Delphinus, which means ‘the dolphin’ and is one of the tiniest constellations.”

Tony quirked an eyebrow up and looked back at Peter. “Why is a tiny dolphin your favorite?”

Peter shrugged, relaxing further against Tony. “When I first found it and pointed it out to Ben, I kept thinking it was the Little Dipper, because it kind of looks like it and I was never able to find that one as a little kid. So we researched it and discovered it was Delphinus, and the story is kind of cool.”

“Care to share with the class?”

Peter playfully elbowed Tony and rolled his eyes. He had no idea how much of a victory that response seemed to Tony, as it was a far cry from the panic-induced kid he found two hours ago.

“There are two different myths for Delphinus. One is that he is a messenger for Poseidon and gets rewarded by being placed in the sky for his work after bringing the god a water nymph. I like the other story more. In the other myth, he’s the dolphin that saves a famous musician and poet that was favored by Apollo from a bunch of mutinous sailors and carried him back to Greece. So Apollo thanked him for saving the man’s life by placing among the stars to be remembered.”

Tony smiled as he understood why this was Peter’s favorite constellation. The underdog saving someone’s life. It was just more proof of how inherently _good_ Peter was as a person. Out loud, he just hummed and nodded. “Well, it sounds like he deserved to be remembered. It sounds like the little dolphin was a hero.”

Peter nodded and yawned. “Mhmm. He’s just a little guy who was helping someone. He’s pretty cool for a dolphin.”

Tony chuckled and started carding his fingers through Peter’s curls again, feeling the boy hum in contentment as they fell silent, looking at the stars together.

After several more minutes of silence, Tony looked down to see Peter asleep, his face back to being buried against Tony’s neck and shoulder. The poor kid cried himself to exhaustion, unable to stay awake anymore.

Tony adjusted his kid in his arms, one hand under Peter’s legs and the other under his upper back, maneuvering to back sure his head stayed resting against Tony’s chest. He quietly grunted as he slowly made his way up to his feet.

As he made his way off the roof and back to their bedrooms, Tony looked down at Peter and gave a sad smile. The kid had too pure of a heart to have to endure all the pain he has gone through in his young life. Tony just hoped he didn’t lose that pure hearted nature as he continued on in a world that seems designed to bring pain and hurt.

Tony sighed and brushed the curls off Peter’s forehead after he tucked him back into his bed. The older man leaned down and placed a feather-light kiss on his kid’s forehead.

“Don’t lose heart, Peter. I promise it’ll get better.”

**Author's Note:**

> So, what did you think? let me know in the comments! 
> 
> The constellations I added are actually some of my personal favorites, Delphinus being the top one. My dad and I used to stargaze almost every night during the summer when I was a kid, and for a while I actually thought my little dolphin buddy was the little dipper, because I could never find the little dipper and it drove me insane.
> 
> I also highly suggest listening to the song "Water and Dust" whether you're anxious or not, because it is an amazing song that everyone needs to hear. 
> 
> I hope you have a great day!


End file.
